I've been extoling the Rules of Holes, hoping to give you both courage to get out of your Hole, and solace for having allowed yourself to get in a Hole in the first place. How about the others, the folks that see that you are up to your neck, the folks that could guide you out, the folks that are secretly glad that it is you down in the Hole instead of them.
So this brings us to Rules of Holes #7: When you are in a hole, some will look down on you. Only a few will offer their hand, and of those, only a few will be able to provide you the help you require.
As was mentioned in Rules of Holes #6, you have to be careful when folks offer to help you out of your Hole. You need to carefully evaluate the probability of success with their help. If it is the wrong person, without the needed skills or expertise, you will just end up pulling them down in the Hole with you. And a crowded Hole can be a very unpleasant place –as well as quite unproductive. In a later Rule, I'll explore how to better identify those that can genuinely help you get out of your Hole.
But with Rule #7, you realize that some will gain delight in watching your struggle to get out of your Hole. It takes their attention away from their own struggle to escape from their own Hole. By figuratively 'looking down on you', they are able to falsely elevate their own stature. They may be telling themselves that they would never dig so deeply, or ever find themselves in such a predicament. The truth is, they are most likely indeed in a Hole. Actually, maybe by watching your plight, they can continue denying the reality of their own Hole -but that is another story...
Look up and smile, for one day, much sooner than they could imagine, the roles will be reversed. And then just maybe you will be able to extend your hand and offer the help needed, or at least assist in locating the help needed. But I hope that as a result of your experiences with your Hole, you refrain from just looking down on the hapless occupant.
(I am in the process of compiling a more complete list of 'Rules of Holes', and in upcoming weeks, I'll share them with you. And if you have developed your own 'Rules of Holes', i invite you to share them with us.)